A Really Funny Awakening:
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after being out all night with his friends. He couldn't remember much from the night before, and wondered if he had done something he shouldn't have.
After laying there for a few moments, he forces himself to open his eyes. To his surprise he sees a few aspirins sitting next to a glass of water. Next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Stacy"
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table. Jack asks his son, "What happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3, drunk and out of your mind. You fell on the coffee table, broke it, and then puked all over the floor. While you were getting up, you hit your head on the banister and knocked yourself out."
Confused, he asks his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom. When she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,'Leave me alone, I'm married!'"