A Vulgar Guinness

A Vulgar Guinness:

Paddy's at his local pub, slowly sipping a Guinness, not being the happy go lucky Irishman he usually is.

The barkeep walks over to Paddy’s table.  He says, “G’day Paddy, you seem a wee bit down in the mouth today, what seems to be ailing ye?”

Paddy looks around, points out the window and says, “Do ye see that dock out there on the lake? I built that dock with me own hands. Cut every log with me own axe, planed down every piece of lumber with me own wood planer.  None of that fancy electric stuff for me. Drove all the nails myself with me 2lb riggin axe.”

The bartender looks at the dock and says, “Aye Paddy, I do see that dock and it’s a fine one for sure, for sure.”

Paddy continues, “Aye but, do you ever see me walking down the street and hear someone say, “Hey look, it’s Paddy the Dock Builder?”

The barkeep thinks a few seconds and says, “No lad, I don’t believe I ever have.”

Paddy looks out the other window and points at a rock wall. He asks, “Do ye see that wall out there in that field? Built that wall with me own hands.  Dug up every rock, split them with me own hammer and chisel, fit every stone in just the right place. No fancy mortar joints or anything like that.”

The barkeep says “Aye Paddy, and a fine wall it is.  Why just last week Bimm McCutcheon ran into that wall and totaled his car, but nary a stone was out of place.  Fine wall indeed.”

“Paddy sips his Guinness and asks, “Aye but, do you ever see me walking down the street and hear someone say “Look yonder, here comes Paddy the Stone Mason.”?

The barkeep ponders it for a few seconds and says, “No Paddy, I cannot say I’ve ever heard anyone say such a thing.”

And Paddy says “Aye but, you fuck one sheep…”

  • Thanks to Paul for this Joke Contribution
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