Category Archives: Adult Jokes

Funny Adult Jokes to tickle your funny bone.

An Amazing Alzheimer’s Test

Here is an AMAZING Alzheimer's test I found. Try it out. It only takes 15 seconds. How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks? 1. _ _NDOM 2. F_ _K 3. P_N_S 4. PU_S_ 5. S_X 6. BOO_S Answers: 1. RANDOM 2. FORK 3. PANTS 4. PULSE 5. SIX 6. BOOKS You…
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A Coma Story

A woman was in a long coma. A nurse was giving her a sponge bath, when she accidentally made contact with the woman's vagina, which produced a reaction on the heart monitor. Excited, she went and told one of the Doctors, and he in turn called the woman's husband to tell him to come over…
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An eBay Warning

WARNING ABOUT eBAY Be careful what you buy on eBay. If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully. A friend has just spent $95, plus postage, on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. The only instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight."
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An Afternoon for Guinness

A Vulgar Guinness: Paddy's at his local pub, slowly sipping a Guinness, not being the happy go lucky Irishman he usually is. The barkeep walks over to Paddy’s table.  He says, “G’day Paddy, you seem a wee bit down in the mouth today, what seems to be ailing ye?” Paddy looks around, points out the…
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A Hangover to be Thankful For

A Really Funny Awakening: Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after being out all night with his friends.  He couldn't remember much from the night before, and wondered if he had done something he shouldn't have.   After laying there for a few moments, he forces himself to open his eyes.  To his surprise…
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New Shoes

I bought some new shoes from a drug dealer.  I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
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Alaskan Hiking Trip

I was hiking once with my girlfriend.  Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.   We must have come close to her cubs.  Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.   One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.  I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
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A Dirty Bus Ride

Two Italian men get on a bus.  They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.   The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:   "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come…
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A Free Laxative for Your Cough

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall... The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I…
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A Redneck Poem

-A Redneck Love Poem- Susie Lee Done Fell In Love, She Planned to Marry Joe. She was so Happy 'Bout it All, She Told Her Pappy So. Pappy Told Her, Susie Gal, You'll Have to Find Another. I'd Just as Soon Yo' Ma Don't Know, But Joe is Yo' Half Brother. So Susie Put Aside…
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An Adult Question

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.   If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection…
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An Obscene Police Stop

A Farmer Story:   After pulling a rancher over for speeding, a state trooper began to lecture him about his speed. The officer began implying that the farmer didn’t know any better and began to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at…
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Moose Hunting for Grown Ups

Two moose hunters, Sean & Liam, got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big bull moose.   As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could only take the hunters, their gear, but only one moose.   The two hunters objected…
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